he thought i was a dude.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
