are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
