whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
