Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
