how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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