If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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