We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
