Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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