she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
