wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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