Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize