My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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