mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
