Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
