Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you inspire me to be a worse person
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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