I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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