You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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