Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Never underestimate the power of titties
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
