where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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