i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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