you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
