His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
