girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
