on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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