I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize