what day is it and did you see me today?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
