when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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