Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
