it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
