if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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