We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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