I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
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I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
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Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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