No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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