tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
