erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
