5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
