if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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