god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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