Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
someone owes me an orgasm
I love having hate sex.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
