So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
