using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
