im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
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