No stitches, just platelets and will power
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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