I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
