physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize