i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
