; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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