tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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