nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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