But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
