yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
