So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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