i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Floor bacon is actually really good
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
