you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize