He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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