Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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