I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Boobs speak an international language.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
