She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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