Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You can't just leave with hair like that
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
