so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
