I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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