can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
