Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize