Yo dont text me then not text me
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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