If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
