Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
