youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
