god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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