Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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